Day 7: We made it!

NOTE: Discouraged that I wrote this last night but somehow didn't post it...


UPDATE:  1845:  I made a cabbage dish from a Vegetarian Times cookbook.  It was great and complemented the black beans and brown rice nicely.  I like to put nutritional yeast on my beans and/or rice.  Then I don't use salt and it livens up the flavor.  I had a half cup of rice, a cup of beans, and one serving of the cabbage.  I felt full when I finished the plate.  I think the rice kicked up the craving to overeat because I can feel myself thinking about going back for more, and my mind is saying "but you have plenty of calories left in your plan for today" - and that's true - but I need to struggle against eating for the sake of eating.  The more I overeat the more my stomach expects it and my brain thinks it's okay.  One meal at a time.  It's good to know I could eat this meal tomorrow for lunch.  I definitely feel the difference today having eaten about double the protein I ate yesterday or any day in the past eight.  It's a good difference.  It's been a good week so far.  I've really gotten a lot done and have been on a more even keel.  Also, I don't seem to be fighting going to bed this week, which is normally a big issue.

Sunday we are going camping.  Just for one night, but I really need to put some thought into the food that we bring.  Last time, we brought sandwiches with vegan lunch slices, and vegan brats, and nuts, corn, and IDK what else.  We ate a lot.  I really don't want to get into the processed vegan food habit again.  So I need to dedicate some time tomorrow to think about it and be ready to make some food ahead of time on Saturday.  It will be a test of my dedication to our rebooted eating habits!


1430:  Yikes, I can't believe I didn't get a chance to write yesterday.  Probably because I was so full of energy that I was busy doing lots of stuff around the house.  I can't believe how great I felt yesterday (and I feel great today too).  Yesterday I brought plentiful small quantities of food with me and ate small amounts throughout the day between appointments.  I didn't let myself get ravenously hungry, and I didn't stuff myself when I ate.  When I looked at my caloric intake at the end of the day, and my nutrient intake, I was shocked that I had felt just fine with such a great carb/protein/fat ratio and low calories.


Last night we had Israeli couscous with steamed zucchini and yellow squash, spritzed with Bragg, with edamame and sunflower seeds.  I served a very small amount of the couscous and quite a lot of vegetables.  I was full after only half of what I served myself and I put it away in the fridge before food addiction told me to eat the rest.  My partner did the same.  


Today my partner offered to make me a cup of coffee in the morning and I couldn't resist.  However, after less than half a cup, I began to feel extremely dizzy.  I didn't drink anymore .  I had eaten only a banana, so I got the rest of the edamame to see if some protein would help.  After a little while I juiced some carrots with parsley and during all this time drank water.  The dizziness went away.  The caffeine didn't affect me adversely the other day, maybe because I was sleep-deprived and responded to it, but it didn't go well today!


Tonight we're having black beans and I'm not sure what else, unfortunately. I think my partner is dying for some rice, so I may make some brown rice and eat just a little bit.  I think it's time that we ramp our protein back up, so I'll plan to make the beans the heart of the meal. 

Day 6: First food

1530:  Today we began breaking the fast.  I had a banana and a vegetable juice in the morning, then some salad around 1100.  I had the rest of the salad around 1400 and then I drank my first cup of coffee.  I was going to wait another day or two to try coffee, but between my neighbors ( :-( ) and our cats I didn't get much sleep last night.  Eating seemed to make me sleepy and I really struggled during my 1130 (against sleepiness) so I decided to go ahead and see how it went with coffee.  It sure tasted good.  I savored it.  Now an hour later I don't feel wired, but I do feel full.  I ate so little compared to how I had been eating prior to the fast.  I hope that although we will be adding more foods back in - beans, tofu, grains - that I'll continue with the smaller portions. 

Another reason for the coffee was that, oddly enough, today I had a headache.  It didn't start until mid-morning.  Strange that I got a headache the day I started eating solid food?  Since it was also the first day during the detox that I didn't get enough sleep, I don't really know what to attribute it to, but it's gone away since I drank the coffee...

Looking forward to that raw soup this evening.  I looooove avocados!

UPDATE 2220:  I just went through the food I ate today and tracked it on Spark People.  I'm shocked at the fact that I was full on less than 800 calories today.  Apart from getting hungry between breakfast and the 1100 salad, I wasn't hungry all day.  I ate more or less 5 times today - I think that's part of it.

Of course, I'll be adding some protein foods in and likely some grains, so the calories will not stay so low; however if I can keep up with the small portion sizes maybe I can continue to feel great and also lose weight.  My body really needs me to take off some of the weight so it isn't under so much pressure.  I've lost all but 6 pounds of what I gained back after my great health streak in 2007, and I feel really good now.

The Raw Vegan Kale Ginger Soup was amazing!  I had half of it tonight and found that I was full, but craving more because it was good.  I put the rest in the refrigerator for tomorrow.  I can take it with me since I'll be gone all day.  

Red alert:  I don't have a plan for dinner tomorrow night.  It's time to add some new foods.  Edamame?  Brown rice?  Quinoa?  I'm thinking steamed veggies with edamame and maybe some brown rice for the man.  Not sure if I want to eat rice so soon.  Will try to listen to my body tomorrow, but to get past the taste buds and to my stomach and my wellbeing.

Day 5: Ready for step up!

2100:  Slept a ridiculous amount last night, but felt really good today.  I still got very hungry at times, say 7-8 for a few minutes at a time, but it dissipated when I drank some juice.  Things are going my way, too, generally in my day today.  I'm looking forward to eating tomorrow.  I'm planning on a banana when I wake up, then a vegetable juice before I leave the house.  I'll be out for the whole morning but I plan to bring a nectarine with me, and then maybe have a salad when I get home.  For the evening meal I'm making a raw Vegan Kale Ginger Soup which I found on the Low Fat Vegan Recipes blog:  http://lowfatveganrecipes.com/raw-vegan-kale-ginger-soup/ 


My partner is really excited about having coffee tomorrow.  I thought the coffee should wait at least another couple of days but he's ready for it now.  I'm not sure.  I think I may hold off a little longer.  I'm shocked that he's the one who has missed coffee more.  In fact, the whole time we've been doing this the bag of coffee has been sitting on the counter and I haven't had even the slightest temptation, even when I was considering drinking coffee to get rid of the withdrawal headache.  I'm confused by this as I love coffee and really, really don't want to give it up.  I guess I would love to remake my relationship with coffee so that instead of thinking of it as the best part of my morning, it could be just an occasional friend.  I'm really not sure I can just be friends with coffee though...


Good night!  

Day 4: Wow!

1900:  Woke up feeling just fine today.  My partner made us some juice (pineapple, kiwi and I'm not sure what else) and I went out to pick up some things at the store. I hate shopping and I had to trudge past all that food in order to pick up some more apples and parsley and a few other things.  I realized how much stuff I eat just because it tastes good, with no thought as to whether it fits my body's needs for the day.  Bummer.  I juiced some vegetables when I got home.


Around two o'clock I hit the hunger high - maybe a 6 or 7.  A while later I juiced half a red grapefruit and two apples.  Superzumos says this helps stave off hunger.  It sure seemed to work cuz it's 1900 and I'm just starting to feel a hint of hunger.  It's so much easier today than yesterday, and yesterday was easier than Friday - even though we were still eating some solid food on Friday.


A couple more hours and I'll be asleep and Day 4 will be done.  Tomorrow is the last day of juice-only.  Tuesday we'll break the fast with some fruit and raw vegetables and Wednesday we'll add in some vegetable broth and we'll see what else.  A slow step up.  


 I got a lot of cleaning done in the morning but I've been chilling this afternoon.  One of our cats woke us up earlier than we wanted to get up and I think coming up an hour short on sleep cut into my energy.  Some people say to expect to be tired and low energy during the fast and other people say that doesn't happen.  I don't know if tired is the right word exactly.  I feel like resting.  Seems like it's not the same thing.  One thing is laying low because of being tired and not being able to do a bunch of stuff, and another thing is consciously resting.  I like it.  And I still feel very mentally sharp.  The fog has really cleared over the past few days.  


And I still CANNOT BELIEVE I haven't had coffee since Wednesday.  And no headache today either.

Day 3: Evening: looks like I made it through

I'm stunned that I didn't have a headache all day today (but grateful!)  Tonight has been up and down with the hungry.  I definitely hit about 8 this afternoon and I'm at about a 6 now, but should be getting to sleep soon so I won't know!  My partner made me a juice with red grapefruit, lime, and pineapple earlier that helped dislodge the sensory memory of the weird juice I made earlier.  *shudder*


Although my stomach is still stubbornly rumbling, my mind feels sharper.  My attention span seems to be increasing.  I didn't go into full-on cleaning mode today as I had hoped, yet I got a tremendous amount of mental organizing and research done.  I'll take it!

Day 3: Afternoon: Still hungry, but no headache!

1537:  As the day has gone on I've been hungrier and hungrier.  My partner called from work to say he was going to stop at home for a few minutes and could I please make a juice for him?  He said he's having a hard time.  He had a more difficult time with hunger than I did on the two raw days.  He had to buy nuts to get through work on Thursday and Friday.  His job is extremely physically demanding and he needs to do what's right for him.

I just realized that a few hours had gone by with no juice so I'm having some now.  This is the first questionable-tasting juice I've had in the month that we've been juicing.  It's a recipe from Superzumos and is made from lettuce, cabbage, carrot, apple, and broccoli.  I think it's the cabbage that's putting me off.  Whatever it is, it's got a most unusual flavor...but I'll drink it.

Energywise, I feel fine.  I've been sporadically cleaning and making some headway around the house, but also taking some time to follow the blogs I was following on my old blog here in this one, and do some reading and exploring.  The sun finally came back out and everything looks better!

Day 3: Morning: So far, so good

0958:  We woke up at 7:30 today.  NO HEADACHE. I think I can feel it hovering around in the back of my head but it hasn't set in.  I'll take it!


I do feel hungry, but more than that, I feel the compulsion to eat. It's interesting that the second my partner left for work, a part of my brain said, "Okay, time to eat." WTF is that?  


When I got up I made a juice with celery, parsley, cucumber, ginger, and carrots.  Since we started juicing I've been fascinated with how good celery tastes, and also cucumber. I like the slight zing that the ginger adds too.  Everything I read says parsley is important for energy, and it's also in a lot of the liver-support juice recipes, so I've been throwing it in.  I love Italian parsley anyway, although it doesn't seem to add any flavor to the juice.


When my partner left for work and I started thinking about eating, I made a juice of canteloupe with lime.  OMG.  I did not expect it to taste so good!  I hope that over the long term I will be drinking more vegetables juices than fruit juices but I'm trying to mix it up during the fast.


So, hungrywise, on a scale of 1-10 (10 is most hungry) I'm at about a 5.  Yesterday and Thursday I was around a 9 or 10 much of the time.  This is better.  Of course, it's not even noon yet :-)


It has been pretty exciting to get caught up on the dishes and not have them reproduce as fast as I can wash them.  Fasting bonus!

Day 2: Hungry but distracted by headache

1345:  I felt a lot better when I woke up this morning.  I ate a banana and a little later drank some carrot/beet/kale/celery juice and then headed out.  I'm still out and I'm really hungry now.  I haven't had anything except some water since 9am.  I know today the plan was to eat raw fruits and veggies but after last night I was really nervous about eating.  I didn't feel hungry at all in the morning so I figured I'd be okay without bringing anything with me.  Forgot I wouldn't be able to get home between appointments today!  Either way, tomorrow is juice, water and herbal tea only and since I'm able to stay home tomorrow, it should actually be easier than today.  I think I'll eat some raisins when I get home.  I'm pretty sure that's considered a raw fruit.  I'm still feeling anxiety around eating more raw veggies but I'll be sure to super-wash them and hope for the best.


The caffeine withdrawal headache is definitely drowning out most of the hunger symptoms though!  I'm going to take this one day at a time, or one hour maybe (!) but I'm still leaving the door open to adding back a half-cup of coffee if the headache seems to be debilitating.  I had plans to detox parts of my living space while my body was cleaning house too, and if I can't enjoy the clearheaded part of fasting I wonder if I might be better off killing the headache.  But that's not this hour anyway.  *rumble*

Day 1: Decaffeinated and more

I may not have mentioned last night that what I foresaw as my biggest challenge during this detox would be kicking caffeine.  It's only 1230 and my head feels like it got hit by a rock.  Urrrrgggh.


UPDATE:
2154


Just finished upchucking after about four hours of stomach discomfort punctuated by intervals of stomach pain.  Some of this was normal discomfort that I've experienced on a somewhat regular basis, but that usually only happens in the morning and DGL (deglycyrrhizinated licorince) has always been helpful.  Not today though.


I was so happy to get in bed at 1830 because although I wanted to eat I realized my *body* wanted to sleep.  I stayed up way too late two nights in a row, and then today went cold turkey off the caffeine.  It's not my plan to quit caffeine; I'm already lusting after a cup when this fast is done.  It's just that I don't think I'm giving my liver or the rest of my organs a break if I use caffeine while fasting.  


Anyway, I couldn't stay in bed because my upper back and stomach were in too much discomfort and things went rather downhill from there.  My partner suggested Pepto and I said I didn't want to put something in my body to plug it up when I'm trying to detox it, but a few hours later I broke down and tried it.  I couldn't find a comfortable position, and all the burping in the world didn't make the discomfort go away.  It was getting worse and I was starting to get a little panicky that this might be an all-night thing.


Tack the caffeine withdrawal headache on and understand how much I wanted to get into bed and sleep so I could get a break from the headache, yet lying down made the stomach thing unbearable.  I was also having intermittent chills and considering whether I had actually washed all the fruits and vegetables I ate today...


Mind you, this is exactly how I spent my 40th birthday also.  Woke up in the wee hours with stomach pain and some hours later ended up with my head in the toilet.  I cannot believe I've puked again already.  I am not sure I even threw up once in 2009, maybe not even in 2008, yet twice in four months in 2010 with very similar accompanying symptoms.  Further illustration that I needed to reboot, I guess.


What's different than my birthday is that this time I felt some immediate relief from throwing up.  The headache backed off by about 60% - and I mean immediately.  Before I even stopped shaking and got off the bathroom floor, the headache was retreating.  Stomach is not okay, but considerably better than before and I don't feel nausea anymore.  I'm going to try going to bed again here in a few minutes.


Wheee!  I was completed blindsided by whatever is happening here.  I fully expected the headache.   I didn't anticipate debilitating stomach issues from one day of only eating raw fruits and veggies.  I didn't expect any issues, really, on the digestive side; I expected to run into some unpleasant symptoms a few days into this, once we're only drinking juices; effects of detox.


It seems more likely that I just didn't wash something that I ate and I picked up some nasty bacteria.  Hopefully I'll see some improvement.  If not, tomorrow's going to be epic.  I've got long jobs that will keep me away from the house most of the day, so I have to keep it together!


I may be underestimating how bad detox may feel, also.  Since I've been vegan for a little over 3 years now and I do eat fruits and vegetables daily, and don't use processed faux meats all the time, I figured I wouldn't be in too much pain.  I believe I figured the people who get the really evil symptoms during a fast are those who have a bunch of rotting animal flesh in their intestines and growth hormones in their fat stores.  It may not be that simple!

New plan, new blog

I'm not entirely sure I'll really update this blog with any frequency.  My last blog was totally unfocused and I wrote in it in 2006 several times, then not again until 2009, and then nothing since then!  Out with the old, in with the new, right?  Tomorrow is Day 1 of a 7-day detox cycle.  Tomorrow and Friday we're eating only raw fruits and vegetables as a step-down to three days of juice fasting.  We used up most of the perishable food in the house so that we won't be tempted, and then I did a huge compras today of organic everything.  

I've been looking forward to this for a few weeks now.  I need to do a personal reboot and my hope is that while I'm not having to stress my body out by processing food nor stress myself out with constantly trying to keep up with meal planning and preparation (failing miserably for some time now, hence the reboot) I'll be able to regain some sense of balance.  I've never done any kind of fast before unless you count days when I've not had time to eat in the morning and then gone all of the workday without food because I was either broke, couldn't find anything vegan, or both, really.  I don't really think that counts since I'd then come home and eat everything I could find.  

I vote that this should be an entirely different experience!  One day, or possible one segment of a day, at a time.